Please send kale…or cookies


With all the bickering and bad news, this past year and a half has been like watching a really long mud wrestling match during a bad hailstorm. Thank goodness October is such a fun month. We could all use some celebrating about now. And as luck would have it, October is not only National Pharmacists Month and Eat Country Ham Month, it’s also National Cookie Month. I feel better already. 

But there’s more! The entire first week of October is National Newspaper Week and it’s Do Something Nice Day on the 5th and National Kale Day on the 6th. Now there’s something to celebrate. 

In keeping with this month’s holidays, I think we should all do something nice and deliver kale to our pharmacists and the staff at this newspaper. Better yet, cookies or country hams. 

I’m fond of pharmacists, but I’m an even bigger fan of newspapers and not just because they run my column. Obviously, you are too, seeing as you’re reading one right now. 

None of us can be everywhere at once which is why we subscribe to newspapers. Somehow the staffs at community newspapers manage to be everywhere at once—every city council meeting, school reunion, fair and festival—and to write about it all.

And newspapers expose problems in the community and give us the information we need to deal with them. Anyone who doesn’t value that service either doesn’t care what’s happening in their community or doesn’t want the rest of us to know about it. 

Considering all the important things they do, delivering a dozen cookies or a bushel of kale to the newspaper office seems like the least we could do. 

I don’t want to take anything away from pharmacists and country hams, but I don’t think it’s fair that they each get an entire month while newspapers only get a week. The newspaper business isn’t for sissies, which is why I’m not actually in it. I write my column from home, email it in and never leave the house except to pick up cookies.

But I worked parttime at my hometown newspaper one summer, which is where I found out just how tough the business is. I learned a lot that summer including how to do interviews, write fast under deadline, take pictures and develop film. And I’m proud to say I only destroyed a couple of rolls in the process. Honestly, if digital cameras had been invented back then, I might still be in the newspaper business. 

Or maybe not. An experience at my college’s campus paper also made it clear a journalism career wasn’t for me. I did a series of features on longtime faculty members and they weren’t half bad. The features, I mean. The faculty members were top notch. 

I took pretty good shorthand back then, but apparently it wasn’t good enough. Somehow, I managed to misquote a professor and not just any professor. It was one of my journalism professors. I’m still amazed I passed her class.

Considering how accuracy isn’t my strong suit, I decided a humor column might be more my style. Sadly, columnists don’t get a month or even a week to celebrate. We do, however, have National Columnists Day on April 18. Incidentally, that’s also Pet Owners Independence Day and Linemen Appreciation Day. And I apologize to columnists, pet owners and linemen everywhere that I completely forgot to mention it back in April. But I think I can speak for all of us when I say we’d still welcome cookies. Or country hams. Even kale. 

Dorothy Rosby is the author of the humor book, I Didn’t Know You Could Make Birthday Cake from Scratch: Parenting Blunders from Cradle to Empty Nest. Contact