Being a traveler and relationship expert, I am struck by the importance of the human need for dignity. Few understand the true meaning of dignity, and even fewer realize the extraordinary impact it has on our lives and relationships. Dignity defined is the state or quality of being worthy of honor or respect. Our shared need for dignity transcends our differences, putting our common human identity above everything. While our uniqueness is important, research has shown us that if we don’t take the next step toward recognizing our shared human identity, conflicts in our communities, workplace, families, and personal relationships, will continue.
The glue that holds our relationships together is the mutual recognition of the desire to be seen, known, valued, heard, listened to, and treated fairly; to be recognized, understood, and to feel safe. When our identity is accepted and we feel included, we are granted a sense of freedom and independence and a life filled with hope, purpose, and possibility.
A dramatic example of the lack of dignity was on full display as I visited Auschwitz and Birkenau concentration camps in Poland. I was stuck by the systematic denial of human dignity. It was relocating a targeted people group against their will on the premise that they were undesirables, mocking their faith, food and customs, giving them numbers rather than names, taking their belongings, putting them in disgusting uniforms, shaving their heads, and separating them based on their potential to work, not feeding them properly, not allowing them to rest or access basic hygiene, and terrorizing them with harsh punishment and death. This is a shocking example of stolen dignity.
Stolen dignity can be subtle. Working as a nurse in an intensive care unit, I was overwhelmed with frustration when some of my colleagues did not drape a patient well and value their privacy if they were unconscious. As a charge nurse in this situation, I was obsessed with training and making sure this did not happen on my watch. Even recently, caring for my mom in hospice care, I was acutely aware that her dignity was an issue for her even though it was unstated. Being a fiercely independent strong woman for 91 years, she was losing control of her care, her body and her circumstances. I felt totally responsible for ensuring that she knew and approved of each step of her care. When she died, I admonished the young hurst drivers, that when they took her body to the mortuary, they should show her the dignity and respect she deserved, even in her death.
Every individual that is born is an invaluable, priceless, and irreplaceable human. It is important to honor other people’s dignity, and, in the process, will strengthen your own. Dignity is the most important thing to honor the human spirit. Treat others with value, respect and dignity which means treating them the way you would like to be treated. It is important for our collective humanity. joneen@myrelationshipcenter.org