FOR THE LOVE OF RELATIONSHIPS – Some things are better in private

Many laws across the country outline that sexual expression be done in private. Social norms of the past have reflected that sexual talk remain private. Most of us believe that children should be shielded from explicit sexual images. This is one of the areas we value as civilized behavior and human dignity and worth. After all, aren’t we, as humans, living in a higher biological order than animals?

A topic worth noting is that private acts have public consequences. Reviewing social science literature, sexual relationships, although private, are not separated from the community at large. What people do in their private intimate lives affect families, taxpayers, and neighbors. The effects of sexual relationships have consequences for schools, hospitals, law enforcement and social services. In a variety of ways, each of these government institutions must deal with the negative consequences of who had sex with whom and under what circumstances. 

Community health flourishes when responsible adults have sex only with the one they are publicly and forever committed to. This responsibility extends to employment, career building and involvement in the lives of their children.  Early sexual activity in the lives of adolescents affects academic performance, graduation rates and future choices regarding life trajectories. We know from robust literature reviews that early sexual debut also affects behavior, and the mental and emotional health of adolescents. 

One way to operationalize this is to think about choosing a school for your child. Would you, as a concerned and involved parent, choose a school where 90 percent of the children in that school are in father-absent homes? Or would you choose a school where most of the students reside in an intact 2-parent family structure? Why or why not? The answer is intuitive and self-evident.

The relational status of people having sex within a given community also drives up the level of crime and safety. Take a local park, for example. Let’s say the park is utilized by families who take their children to picnic and play. On the other hand, what if the park is utilized by singles who utilize the park for “sex and go” encounters in the bathrooms or amorous play on blankets in full view of the public? Is that a park where the public would want to go? Why or why not?

Child innocence and well-being is at stake when, as a culture, we condone behaviors that should be private. Those who announce their sexual identity to children, whatever that identify is, is not healthy. Sexual preferences and attractions are a private matter for adults. Those who would have children participate in parades, dances, library readings and events about sexual preferences and attractions are not healthy and is a sign that we do not value the innocence of children. 

Civilized societies must bridle sexual impulses, learn to self-regulate around this private behavior to honor our collective humanity, national character, and societal norms. The incredible power and goodness of human sexuality can be used to destroy a nation. Let’s work together to keep private things private.