If we are in the workforce, our performance is judged and evaluated. If we are an athlete, we are judged for our winning record, stats, and hero status. If we are an actress or a model we are judged for our attractiveness, believability, and ability to captivate and entertain. Judgment is part of the game and the roles we play. However, what if we were judged based on our parenting, car, clothes, tattoos, weight, age, gender, or even skin color?
My journey to understanding implicit biases began at a conference. I walked in, confident in my open-mindedness and warmth towards others. Little did I know I was about to be confronted with a truth that I had been oblivious to my own biases. It was a humbling experience, one that made me realize how deeply ingrained these biases can be, even in the most well-intentioned individuals.
Reading the book Blink by Malcolm Gladwell, I was struck by how many times he uses the phrase ‘snap judgment’ He opines the only way that human beings could ever have survived as a species for as long as we have is that we’ve developed another kind of decision-making apparatus that’s capable of making very quick judgments based on very little information. As the psychologist Timothy D. Wilson writes in his book Strangers to Ourselves: “The mind operates most efficiently by relegating a good deal of high-level, sophisticated thinking to the unconscious, just as a modern jetliner can fly on automatic pilot with little or no input from the human, ‘conscious’ pilot. We all make snap judgments. It is part of the function of our higher, executive-functioning cerebral cortex. It is natural. Gladwell continues, Perhaps the most common and the most important forms of rapid cognition are the judgments we make and the impressions we form of other people. Every waking minute in the presence of someone, we come up with a constant stream of predictions and inferences about what that person is thinking and feeling.
What if we could be more intentional with our judgments concerning those we see in stores, on the road, on public transport, or even at political events? Wouldn’t it be nice if we could stop judging automatically, be aware of our implicit biases, and be kinder and gentler with one another? We can feel when we are being judged. Research suggests that being judged negatively is associated with stress, anxiety, and even depression.
Recently, I had the honor of being with a person I admire. I shared my experience regarding what I learned regarding my biases and judgment. He told me his secret to ensure that he did not judge others. He said that whenever he felt himself judging another and making assumptions about them, he turned his mind to curiosity. He felt the shift of wonder take over. I wonder what this person’s story is. Everyone has one. The antidote to judgment is curiosity. Ask questions and go easy on people; we all have a story. joneen@narme.org