In The Villager last week in part 1 of this 2-part series, I outlined the first 5 characteristics of a winner. To briefly review, the first five characteristics are: self-awareness, self-esteem, self-control, self-motivation, and self-expectancy. As I highlight the next five traits of being a winner, let me be clear, this is not about a fervent desire to compete or beat someone else. It is about developing oneself to overcome obstacles and accomplish life goals. Denis Waitley Ph.D, a national authority on high level performance and personal development, concludes from a compendium of data, that when the first five characteristics listed are coupled with a positive self-image, self-direction, self-discipline self-dimension and self-projection, this person is a self-actualized as a winner. To unpack and operationalize the last 5 attributes of a winner, I will start with a positive self-image. To possess a positive self-image, one must see themselves as competent, skilled and prepared. They visualize each step of the journey toward their goals as already accomplished.
They surround themselves with images, inspirational quotes, and people who are also driven towards positive goals and endeavors. A sports-minded colleague and fierce competitor in track and field wanted to break the women’s record for high jumping while in college. She placed blue masking tape in her dorm room at the height she needed to jump to break the record. She saw that tape the moment she woke up in the morning and before she went to sleep at night. She kept the image of that tape in her mind every waking moment, in classes, the cafeteria and in practice. In the three months leading up to the competition, she had developed brain pathways and muscle memory to jump over that bar and create a new world record. She accomplished her goal and was rewarded greatly for her positive “can do” spirit and self-image.
A person who has self-direction is one who is intentional, purposeful and has a plan. They know where they are going and are activated. The secret to positive self-direction is establishing a defined goal, writing it down, breaking it down into mini bites and eating the elephant one bite at a time.
Number 8 on the list is self-discipline. Many describe self-discipline as doing without. What self-discipline really means is doing within. It is a mental practice. Practicing when one does not feel like practicing is a trait of a self-disciplined individual. Positive self-talk is also a characteristic of one who is disciplined and will not let circumstances interrupt their intentionality.
Number 9 is self-dimension which is defined as being aligned with your physical intellectual, emotional, social, spiritual and financial self. It means that one is in harmony with body, soul, and spirit. These people think, see, say, and behave in congruence with their life values and mission. They look beyond themselves for meaning and purpose.
Finally, the last of the 10 secrets to becoming a winner is self-projection. Individuals that possess self-projection are affable, kind, supportive, open and friendly. They know that a smile is the universal language that opens doors, melts defenses and connects with others. Now we know, and when we know better, we do better. Let’s practice the art of winning. joneen@myrelationshipcenter.org