FOR THE LOVE OF RELATIONSHIPS -Do you want to win? Part 1

Winning doesn’t mean a constant desire to compete or beat someone,  it is a posture of confidence and self-efficacy to overcome challenges and accomplish life goals. 

A winning mindset helps to overcome fears, issues, disappointments, and even trauma.

To reach personal and professional goals we need to learn how to be powerful and strong as overcoming challenges and temptations are difficult.  Confidence that one can accomplish something difficult has everything to do with how you feel about your skills, energy level, power, and competencies.

In his best-selling book, the Psychology of Winning, Dr. Denis Waitley describes the ten qualities of a total winner. The first quality is a positive self-awareness which is another way to describe someone who knows that the more they know, the more they need to know. Individuals who have a positive self-awareness are interested, curious and are lifelong learners. They are honest with themselves and others. They have no need for drugs or stimulants to enhance or diminish what is happening around them. They are intentional, adaptable, sensitive, empathetic, and open to new ideas. The second quality of a winner is positive self-esteem. These people know who they are. They do not have to perform or prove anything to others. They value their humanity, dignity and inherent worth. They like themselves and have done the self-discovery work to know their personality traits and how they operate best in the world. They can articulate their primary and secondary love language to others and know their gifts, talents, and passions. They also know their limitations and seek to grow and improve as a lifelong process. They live in gratitude and thanksgiving and do not succumb to the victim mindset.  Dr. Waitley describes positive self-control as the third quality of a winner. These people do not let things happen; they make things happen. Self-control is not just about being able to self-regulate, but also about possessing self-determination. It is about not being a passenger on the road of life, but, rather, being behind the wheel. People who possess positive self-control do not blame shift but take responsibility. They do not leave their personal development to chance. They take the reigns of their life to go towards the direction of their goals. They step out of their comfort zone and do what it takes to move forward. They make careful and intentional decisions. The fourth quality of a winner is being self-motivated. They are not satisfied with the status quo and hate mediocrity. Their motivation becomes a force in action, and they hate wasting time. They know that hope is not a strategy and someday is now. They are not afraid of failure. Their reward is in achievement and overcoming obstacles. They don’t try, they do. The fifth quality is positive expectancy, they are full of optimism, enthusiasm, and hope. If they fail, they dust themselves off, develop a new strategy and go at it again. They plan, are prepared and ready. They engage in positive self-talk and expect the best. They are aware that they need to take care of their body as well as their mind to get optimal results.

Everyone wants to be a winner, but few have what it takes. In Part 2 of this article, I will continue describing the next five qualities of winning. Stay tuned…