I recently returned from a magical cruise in the South Pacific. I am rested, relaxed, recharged, and ready to go. Now that I am back, I am slammed. I have work from when I was gone, plus my regular duties. I had all these tasks to complete before leaving, and now I am paying the price. Is a vacation worth it? Thinking about this and the drumbeat of work-life balance, I am perplexed.
What is work-life balance? Is it flex time, working from home, yoga time, or professional development time? Should work be called work, and life be called life? Describing work vs life makes it sound as if work is something we must do, and life is something we want to do. The assumption is that work is something we must prioritize to be successful, and the personal part of our lives can be placed on the back burner.
This was common among families in my generation. Dad was making a living, and Mom was making a life. Dad would come home bone-tired, and Mom would sigh, grateful that Dad was the provider while she was burning the candle at both ends. Thankfully, this is no longer the case. Moms and dads are both working, and they need to figure out how to make a living and a life together.
To do this well, we must reframe the conversation. Instead of using the phrase “work-life balance,” let’s change the language to “work-life integration.” How can we create a space where our life is integrated into our work?
Let’s rethink this differently. At work, we have responsibilities. At home, we also have tasks we are responsible for, such as making the bed, paying the bills, doing the laundry, and vacuuming. These responsibilities feel like work. What we must attach to each of these tasks (whether at work or at home) is a sense of meaning and purpose. This puts the joy back in both places. Once our duties are complete, we can have time to play, full of whimsy and delight, which increases our joy. This creates a system for human flourishing. Not only do we have a job to do, but we also live and work for noble, worthy, and meaningful purposes that help us grow, thrive, and serve each other.
One must ask the right questions to find this integration. What am I working for? What is my passion and purpose? Am I in my giftedness? Am I making a difference? What lights me up at work and at home?
Think about what you want from your life. Do you have joy and energy? Are you flourishing and thriving in your work, family, and community? If not, you might need to step back from the mundane and make the changes needed to find the integration and joy you seek. Now, as we get ready for Spring to turn into Summer, it is a perfect time for a reset! joneen@narme.org