I asked myself again today, “Should I be worried about how much I talk to myself?” I thought about it. Then I said, “Naw. I think you’re fine as long as you don’t start interrupting.”
And I do think that. In fact I’d go so far as to say, dear reader, that if you don’t talk to yourself, you should start. Ask yourself, is anyone else as interested in what you have to say as you are? If you answered, “No, they are not,” you’re not only correct, you’re already doing it—at least you are if you answered aloud and then looked around to see if anyone heard you.
For some of us, it’s natural. Thoughts bang around in our heads and tumble out our mouths. We couldn’t stop them if we wanted to. And mostly we don’t want to. Who doesn’t enjoy a little repartee with someone of equal wit and intelligence? I know I do.
Besides, it’s refreshing to chat with someone who always sees things my way. Listening to the news yesterday, I was inspired to make a remark out loud that would have gotten me in trouble in certain circles. But I responded, “You won’t get any argument from me.” Frankly I’d be worried if I had.
The downside is that occasionally I say things to myself that I would never say to someone else. For example, frequently when I cook a meal, I say, “That could have been better—if someone else had made it.” And this morning when I looked around my living room, I said out loud, “This place looks like a fraternity house without the beer cans.” I would never say that to anyone else. At least not to anyone in hearing distance.
I don’t mind telling you—and me—that kind of self-talk can be very hurtful. But generally my mutterings are fairly benign. I often do a kind of running commentary: I’ll chop the celery after I do the onions or I’ll stop by the bank on my way to the grocery store, blah blah. It’s like play-by-play at a football game, only not as exciting.
And there are a lot of “shoulds” in my talks to myself. “You should finish the dishes.” “You should get off the couch and go to bed.” “You should stop talking to yourself so much.”
You might be hesitant to start talking to yourself for fear of getting caught in the act. I won’t deny it happens. And fairly often too, at least to me. But don’t let that stop you. There are graceful ways to handle the situation.
First, if someone walks in on you while you’re deep in conversation with yourself, don’t get flustered. They’re the ones who should be embarrassed, interrupting you like that.
If they ask you who you’re talking to, you could say, “You, of course! Do you see anyone else here?” But that’s risky because well-mannered or very gullible people may apologize and ask you to repeat yourself. This is a problem if you were in the process of praising your own brilliance or worse, saying something disparaging about them.
It’s safer to claim you were merely thinking aloud or even talking to the dog. But remember that’s only believable if you have a dog.
You may be especially concerned about being seen talking to yourself in a public place. And yes, there is a real danger of that. I often express dismay about the prices at the grocery store. But never fear. That’s why Bluetooth was invented. These days when someone walks around mumbling to themselves, everyone assumes they’re talking on their phone. At least I hope they do.
Dorothy Rosby is the author of “I Used to Think I Was Not That Bad and Then I Got to Know Me Better” and other books. Contact her at www.dorothyrosby.com/contact.