Thanksgiving is here, and Christmas/Hanukkah is right around the corner. Hosting dinner parties and welcoming family members from faraway places to celebrate traditions can feel overwhelming. The thought of preparing everything for the holidays often seems daunting. Still, we’re called to open our homes and hearts with generosity and kindness. How can we manage when we are so busy with work, life, and responsibilities? How do we find enough energy to handle all the holiday obligations with grace and gratitude?
I face these mental and emotional struggles every year. This year, I aim to be more organized, less stressed, stick to my budget, enjoy my time with others, and simplify. What else can I do to improve at this? I recently learned the difference between hospitality and entertaining. Entertaining means it’s all about me. Hospitality is about my guests. The word “entertain” means to provide with amusement or enjoyment; to hold the attention pleasantly or agreeably; divert; amuse. The word “hospitality” means the friendly reception and treatment of guests or strangers; the quality of receiving and treating them with warmth, friendliness, and generosity.
I have never considered the differences between hospitality and entertaining. No wonder I felt stressed. My expectation of entertaining was that everything be perfect. I used to believe that when everything is perfect, my guests will feel comfortable. This is crazy thinking! When I visit somewhere and the host or hostess is busy making everything perfect, I sense their stress and don’t feel relaxed. I feel my presence makes them work too hard. I feel guilty for all the preparation it took to have me over. All the busyness doesn’t leave time for visiting, talking, playing games, or building deeper relationships.
Hospitality, on the other hand, is not about perfection or appearances. It is personality-driven. The host thinks about the little things that will make their guests feel special and relaxed. Hospitality says the dishes can wait; time with my guests is more important. Hospitality has an open-door policy, whereas entertaining says, “Wait until I have everything perfect, then come over.” Hospitality may not look like a magazine cover, but it has a comfortable environment ready for anyone. Hospitality values fellowship and face time over perfection; it is other-focused.
Growing up, my family always kept an open-door policy for meals and gatherings. Whatever my mother or grandmother cooked was what everyone, including guests, ate. No one worried about the place setting or table decor. What truly matters is talking, sharing, laughing, creating memories, and breaking bread together. Love filled the air. Hearts were open, and people were genuine with each other. There was always enough room and food for everyone. When we focus more on appearances and the food rather than on service and quality time, we miss what truly counts—building relationships. Relax and enjoy your guests. Practice hospitality without complaining, open your home to joy instead of stress, feed your soul, and strengthen your relationships. Remember, it’s not about you, the food, the decorations, or perfection; it’s about us, together in fellowship and community. Practicing hospitality is a gift to both you and your guests. joneen@narme.org