Persuasion influences a person’s beliefs, attitudes, intentions, motivation, and behavior and plays an essential role in personal relationships and social change. When two people get together, they will inevitably try to persuade one another on political, health, parenting, or economic issues. One might even use persuasion to get another to behave in a particular manner. With the art of persuasion, there are no winners or losers. Convincing others to do what you want them to do is not using force, lies, threats, or coercion. Persuasion is the opposite of mandates. If the argument is compelling, and the one attempting to persuade has expertise in influence, one could be convinced to change their mind and do something the persuader is encouraging.
How is it that some intuitively know how to persuade or influence others? What are the essential elements involved in the art of persuasion? Primarily, one must spend time with those we are trying to persuade. Time promotes trust. But more than that, respecting the individual attempting to influence us is imperative. No one will be influenced without first respecting the would-be persuader. An influencer must be likable and accommodating. People are not convinced by people they dislike or mistrust. Influencers must be kind and gentle, not angry, argumentative, or manipulative. This respect is not just a courtesy; it’s a fundamental part of the process that makes the audience feel valued, honored, and essential.
Additionally, those trying to influence others must have a positive reputation in the public square. A positive reputation includes honesty, integrity, and essential character traits. They must also be believable and highly informed about the subject of their persuasion efforts. However, emotional intelligence may be the most crucial aspect of persuasion. It’s about understanding the emotions and motivations of the person you’re trying to influence. It’s about listening, not just hearing. It’s about knowing what is important to the one you’re attempting to influence. This level of understanding and empathy can make the audience feel enlightened and empowered rather than manipulated.
Once convinced to do something different, the persuader will be more successful if they get a verbal commitment from those they are attempting to influence. A verbal commitment is a public declaration to act. Studies show that when individuals make a verbal commitment or affirmation, they are more likely to feel obligated to follow through on their commitments. To cement the verbal commitment, the persuader should, according to Psychology Today, invoke the psychological principle of reciprocity, allowing themselves to be persuaded to do something different as well.
Finally, an artful persuader respects the autonomy of those they try to influence, allowing them to maintain their power, rights, and dignity. This approach increases the element of controlling their own decisions and lives and empowers them. Maintaining individual choice is an essential element of persuasion. Those who feel like they are losing power, control, and choices over their lives resist change and dig their heels to avoid being persuaded. A leader who desires to influence social change must be mindful of these elements of persuasion and not become a tyrant by mandating the change they seek.
The choice is clear: influencing behavior is more effective based on the art of persuasion than on mandates, rules, and name-calling. Let’s be committed to learning to be an influencer, leader, and persuader for healthy relationships, unity, the public good, and social change. joneen@narme.org