If asked, “What do you want out of life?” most people would say health, happiness, a great job, family, friends, a lovely house in a vibrant community, and success. These answers are expected. A more interesting, thought-provoking question is, “For what are you willing to struggle?”
Of course, everyone wants a fantastic job and financial independence. Still, not everyone is willing to endure 60-hour workweeks, weekend obligations at the office, long commutes, piles of paperwork, or working with people who are mediocre at best. Individuals want financial security and the rewards that come with hard work, preparation, education, training, sacrifice, and delayed gratification required to accumulate wealth.
The next level of wealth accumulation could be the desire to start a business. One does not become a successful entrepreneur without tremendous risk, sacrifice, and uncertainty, along with insane hours and repeated failures, with no guarantee of success.
Most want an awesome relationship, but not everyone is willing to endure the tough conversations, awkward silences, hurt feelings, swallowing of pride, give-and-take, forgiveness and grace, and emotional dramas that vibrant and healthy relationships require.
Most want to be fit, strong, and healthy, but no one becomes fit, strong, and healthy without the discipline to hit the gym, tolerate sweat and soreness, and do early-morning workouts. Not many are willing to intentionally calibrate their food intake and deny themselves the pleasures of sugar-laden, high-calorie foods.
Some might want to be a famous musician or sports superstar. This does not happen without years of lessons, coaching, and practice. Thinking of screaming fans is great, but all this is a fantasy if one is unwilling to put up with the drudgery of practicing, the logistics of finding a gig and rehearsals, hauling speakers and equipment, not getting paid, and… and… and.
At the core of our common humanity, our needs are more alike than different. Positive experiences are easy to handle. Our negative experiences and obstacles require struggle, grit, resolve, and tenacity. What we experience in life is not determined by the good we desire but by what we are willing to sustain and work toward, to get through difficulties and intense feelings, and to overcome the negative. This is the process required to achieve the reward we desperately want.
What determines success isn’t “What do you want to enjoy?” but rather, “What pain or struggle are you willing to endure?”
Many are in love with the results of a great job, financial security, a robust relationship, fitness and health, and being a musical rockstar or superstar, but they are not dedicated to the process of what it takes to get there.
My family and I agreed to be adventure seekers, hard workers, contributing citizens, and creative problem-solvers. We are going to make the best of whatever unfolds. That is the attitude of resilience, grit, and the
American way. Unfortunately, our capitalist system of free enterprise, self-governance, and freedom is at risk from those who look sideways and refuse to do whatever it takes to plan, work, and get ahead. They want to punish success and reward those who did not take risks, invest their own capital, and work 12-15-hour days with no guarantees.
The question remains, “For what are you willing to struggle?” Answering this question reveals the cry of our hearts. Once we know what we want and go after it with reckless abandon, knowing that this will require blood, sweat, and tears, there will be a sweet reward for a struggle worth pursuing. joneen@narme.org