Bo Nix did what I’ve been encouraging everyone to do for years.
A daughter, Riley Belle Nix, was born to the Broncos quarterback and his wife Izzy on February 25—her daddy’s 26th birthday.
Seven weeks later he wrote a long letter to his first-born, published in The Players Tribune, a media platform that publishes first-person stories from professional athletes and produces content ranging from videos to podcasts to written material. It since has appeared in many places and is reprinted in today’s Villager (below).
In his piece, Nix recalled his father losing a coaching job, his own broken ankles—in high school and with the Broncos—missing a possible Super Bowl, and falling short of expectations at Auburn. He reflects on all the adversity he and his family have faced and concludes that setbacks shouldn’t be viewed as always negative.
I applaud him for taking the time to share his thoughts and family history with her.
I’ve written letters to my two granddaughters every Christmas since their births, recalling what we did together during the past year and telling them what it meant to me.
I’ve authored short books about my parents and my family growing up; about my wife’s family; and about our life together.
I’ve also delivered programs and taught classes to older adults, urging them to record family history for future generations—before that history is lost forever.
So, I appreciate—more than most people do—what Bo has done for his baby girl.
It’s a long letter, almost 1,900 words. There’s a lot of football in it, as you would likely expect, but also a surprising number of references to faith and Jesus. He concludes by telling Riley Belle:
“One day, you’re going to face your own setbacks. Things won’t go how you drew them up. Doors will close. When they do, I hope you remember this . . . Losing isn’t the end. Being doubted is the end. Getting hurt isn’t the end.
“Sometimes it’s just a redirect. A new path, a new beginning. And sometimes, it’s the only way God can slow you down enough to show you what really matters.”
Nix also wrote: “If I’m being honest, the biggest win of this past season wasn’t a playoff game. It was being slowed down long enough to hold you in my arms and realize that sometimes God’s plan doesn’t look like what you prayed for . . . It looks better.”
I’ve never met Bo Nix, but I’d like to offer him some advice:
Don’t stop now. Write a letter each year, on her birthday. Create a chronicle of your life together. Tell her how her growth milestones—including special, little steps—affected you. It will be a keepsake she’ll treasure forever.
(My letters to my granddaughters are in scrapbooks, accompanied by photos of moments mentioned in the letters. Consider adding photos and building book of your years together.)
Use this to create a family history. Record previous generations and weave in important moments, succinctly, as you did in your first letter with the story about your dad losing his job as a coach at the University of Miami and how that proved to be a positive.
If you have other children in the future, write to them annually, too, and build books for them, as well.
This obviously takes time and effort every year to organize thoughts and compose, but Bo already has shown he can do it. Virtually anyone can. It’s well worth it.
When I wrote my first letters to my granddaughters, they—like Riley Belle—couldn’t yet read. As infants-in-arms, they had no idea what I’d done. (I didn’t think then about writing every year, but my son-in-law, after reading the first letter, asked: “Are you going to do this next year, too?”)
In the years that followed, the girls devoured their letters, and even now look forward to them. And they’re both well into their 20s.
To others, regardless of age, I say: Start now.
There are many ways to relate your and your family’s history. Choose the way that’s most comfortable to you. You don’t need to be a capable writer, much less a professional. Maybe you don’t write; you make recordings.
Whatever, the worst alternative is to someday say:
“Gee, I wish had asked him/her (grandma, grandpa, mom, dad or other relative) about that before they died.”
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Denny Dressman writes a weekly sports column for The Villager. You can write to Denny at dennydressman@comcast.net.